sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
