Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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