The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
