the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
