I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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