You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
