dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize
