PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
