i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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