So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
