The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
