I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
