Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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