there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I want to fling myself into the sun
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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