yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
