Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
drinking out of a sandbucket again
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize