It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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