omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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