wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
