I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize