I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
