so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I need moral support for this bender
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
