sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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