Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
