is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
