some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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