I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Randomize
