I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
