Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
