I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
