This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Let's get the cat blown out
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
He's on the porch naked. Help.
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