mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
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