Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
