I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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