love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Randomize
