Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
