Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
