My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
