meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
