she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
