she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
