Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Randomize
