Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
