Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I want to be your penis for a week.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize