sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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