Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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