I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
