He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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