# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
