u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I just found puke in my bra..
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
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