Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Randomize
