About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Randomize
