In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
