If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Randomize
