i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Randomize
