we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Randomize
