you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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