you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
