everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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