I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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