Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
