I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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